Lazy Beer Laden Sundays

I guess I'm supposed to have something to say today but I really don't.

I vegged all day today, even though it was 73 and sunny here in the Chi - IN NOVEMBER!

I watched football, had some rotisserie yardbird and conquered a Heineken keg can.


Don't judge me.


Watched health care go over in the House... I urge all of y'all to place a call or two to your senators regardless of how you feel about the reform bill awaiting a vote. One cannot complain if one isn't a part of the process.

Rumor has it I'm going into radio... Whatever. It's a process, you gotta wait.

I think I wanna wax poetic on the cheeseburger thing tomorrow.



I so blogged this late on purpose.




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Nobody Respects The Cheesburger

It stands alone as the one thing unique to folks in this nation as folks should fear and respect but do not.

To me, the cheesburger represents so much more than just a hunk of fried or grilled meat on a bun with a touch of dairy and condiments. It represents all things wrong with our preception of gluttony.

I wish my Dad had a healthy fear and respect for that damn cheesburger.

I spent my entire day at the hospital because we thought my dad either had a heart attack and/or stroke.

He had neither, but he IS diabetic. He might have lost his kidneys.

To make it even worse... He might be infected with H1N1.

Worse case scenario, he might need dialysis.



What.The.Fuck?

More on this tomorrow, okay?

Fucking cheesburgers...

My Morning Anger

I am very angered over what happened at Fort Hood yesterday afternoon.

Not because some shrink was teased and he snapped because he reached some threshold, because I don't believe this was the case. I beieve that folk that do things like this have them planned already. Sometimes they don't know the time nor place or to what degree they'll do their damage, but I believe they know.

Something tells all of us what we're capable of... How one deals with it is the tell tale.
It still takes a lot for a man to kill. Overstand that.

This individual should have never joined the Army. According to co-workers, family and Uncle CID (we call the Central Intelligence Division that), he was already opinionated about certain things related to policy and needed no further convincing after counseling soldiers returning from the shit.

All I need to know. Now the times I get to sit in front of a television will be mired with case studies and stories of this guy with video montages and investigative reports and timelines on how and what he did. There will be stories about the soldiers and families that took a loss...

I used to live there. If memory serves me correct and if there hasn't been any new construction there, I know exactly where those places are. Can't say for sure but I probably utilized that very same place when my unit processed thru there. I know how calm and comfortable those places were. A friend of mine asked me how he was able to take out so many before he was taken out himself and all I could think was how it was when I was there in 1990. We were unarmed. We were always unarmed. There has never been a need to carry live weaponry on a military installation, even after September 11. There are police and security personnel that have live firing weapons, but other than that, we have shooting ranges...

There are countless arms rooms. One for each unit and the weapons we used to live fire are kept under lock and key, inventoried and accounted for at all times. All of our equipment is done this way to prevent...

Shit.

This is why I'm angry that this happened. He took them all by surprise because the only way this happened...

Yeah.

He was making comments and felt the way he felt long enough for him to have been processed out of the military. There is always room for another to climb on board and take one's place. It is still a volunteer service. We may be hurting for fighting troops but garrison employees are very abundant. Why this guy was still active and participating with other active duty personnel after his actions and statements in the past is beyond me. I used to process security clearances and fingerprint folk during my stint in the Army and how they investigated folk and how tight things were with investigations... Sheesh. This cant be right. Dude would have never passed muster to have still been an active soldier in my day.

Apples and oranges though. I believe that the basic principles and the premise in the military is the same now as it was in the past. I can be critical but I will not disrespect the process. Somebody did drop the ball though, and it cost us lives. Right here at home. This is unacceptable.

But he was. Had a lawyer he retained to help jettison him from the Army too.

In my mind this should not have happened, but it has. And now we must deal with our inaction and find a way to soothe the souls of more than a dozen families that lost loved ones not in a combat situation, but in the comfort and 'security' of a secure military installation known for its comfort and warm people.

And now I'll get a chance to hear the spin as well. The hatred and contempt for the few will rise and become very noisy now from certain masses. Yet another tool to be used to politicize things.

I will never forget. I am still one of you. You, your families and your sense of purpose and duty still matter to me.

You Are Honored And Appreciated And Never Will Be Forgotten

As a former soldier stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, a former resident of Copperas Cove, Texas...

As someone familiar with the comings and goings of the 545th MP Brigade, III Core and 1st Cavalry Division...

A former member of the 124th Signal Battalion, 4th Infantry Division...

As a veteran and someone who still holds close the memories of Kileen before someone went rogue...

I cannot understand exactly what happened and why. To say that I am stunned is an understatement.

My heart goes out to the families and my respect is given in high regard to the fallen. You will never be forgotten.

And I liked to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air...

Excuses are bullshit.

I think that some of the things that used to hold me back was my reluctance to actually deal with bullshit, regardless of what level it exists.

I figured that getting close to 40, one's bullshit tolerance level would be next to non existent, but I beg to differ. Folks still act like children more than twenty years removed from high school. I really try to avoid dealing with folks that bring drama, excess and the like to the table because I spent much of my time years previous to this mired knee deep in bullshit.

I understand that some folks need to create something artificial as to feel like there is something going on in their lives, but I need folks to stop by here and read my stank ass to know that you already have things going on that if you would remain focused and dedicated to DOING YOU that this could be enough to keep you satiated.

There are a few people I deal with on a more than regular basis that have good things going on in their lives. They are employed, have a spouse or significant other and have activities that can occupy their time constructively. And that's a good thing for them as well as myself because although I know a lot of talented people, our interests just aren't the same. I would like for a time or two to just delve into their world and participate in whatever it is that they do for leisure. Just as I like to travel and see new places I believe it is the experiences that help round out our time here on this planet and make it worthwhile.

But when a person creates his or her own reality show moments...
Attempts to add or spice up their shit by roping someone else into emotional turmoil...
Carefully and consistently creates rifts between themselves or between others for their benefit...

That's when my bullshit meter goes off and I just have to take two steps back and just not deal with it. It's a very simple formula for me. Keep the bullshit away from me and just do what you do. Your personality and purpose alone is what initially drew me to you, why can't you just do yourself and keep it moving constructively in order to keep order about things?

I now know that some folks keep their shit cluttered because they were either trained, conditioned to do so or have nothing better to do and based on fear of their own shit create drama to distract themselves from having to deal with real world things.

It annoys the fuck out of me because we're better that. Always have been.

In the past two days I have attempted to talk to my wife and two close friends of mine still partially jacked into the Matrix about fear and doing stuff in spite of it. I have to describe it like this because I believe that Joe Madison's statement of conditioning comes into play in some form or fashion in its own unique and individual way in each of them and it affects the way that they do things as well as manages the output and twists the trustworthiness they have in me by way of what comes out of my mouth and their overstanding of said words. Don't know the statement? Well here you go:

"In America, we are culturally conditioned to believe that all things white are superior and all things black are inferior... And due to this cultural conditioning, African-Americans are undervalued, underestimated and marginalized"

- Joe Madison

And although I started this post out yelling to the world my stance on not taking bullshit, I walked away from the post and did other things. When I came back to the net to finish this I ran across this video which is what I'd like to believe is the perfect counter to my kinfolk putting up barriers, blockades and drama as well as totally ignoring all things that make sense and purpose just to remain blissful in one's ignorance due to fear of success and purpose in life:



I really don't have time for excuses, because that's what I think drama is. I'm also tired being around people that use the excuse of a dream to attract people and then sham on the actual work it takes to get the dream done. We all know that a lot of black folk have been culturally conditioned and a lot of us see the exit but are afraid to jack out of the Matrix because that big pile of crabs pulling the other crabs down look like a fun bunch. This is the story of most of my family, friends and extended loved ones as well as associates. I can only be an intercessor to those that need interceeding. That's a voluntary thang, y'all. Like Sovereign told me a looong time ago - in order to be one, you must ask one. Red Pill or blue pill? That bunch of crabs does look kind of fun! Let's lose focus and purpose and go down there! It's all fun and games...

Until they get pulled down into the crab barrel themselves.

But wait, didn't that person convince themselves that the crab pile is where they wanted to be? So the act of getting yanked is the after effect of the initial thought, huh? Meaning they were already down there in the first place and have no one else to blame.

So why bother in pointing fingers, laying excuses and placing blame?

Bullshit, I tell ya'.

Ol' Fresh Prince also said something else that sticks with me on the daily:

"The five people you spend most of your time with will dictate your success in life."

 - Will Smith

Start counting...


Either lead, follow or get the hell outa' the way!

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Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow

 Sigh...

Sometimes, your mind can work against you and help you with the same electronic flashes of energy.

When I finally turned in around 2:30 or 3:00 (which is damned early for me) I turned everything off. I even unplugged the modem to keep its blinkiness from distracting me in the dark. I did my final check down (I still do that, there is still a little military in me), scanned the area in my final safety check and then got comfortable in the bed after turning out the lights and laid it down.

It was nice.
It was quiet.
It was comfy.

BUT IT WAS LOUD AS HELL IN THERE!!!

I'm talking about my brain. There was a hell of a lot of things popping off all up and thru there to the point where I decided to not ignore things. I tried my best to lay there in the physical quiet to attempt to address all of that thought, that chatter going on in my head. I think this was the first time in a long time that I actually paid attention to that. Normally I'd either ignore it, blanket it with alcohol (years ago) or just stay up and let a thought or two manifest itself into song or verse, sketch or note.

Not this time.

By kind of just laying there and having some sort of mental filing system filing thru my thoughts I found that there weren't tons of them all fighting to get to the relevant part of my head for review, it was just a handful of things and a few other random thoughts playing the backgound jammed into a small space, fighting for priority. Went a little something like this:

• The plan is to present the best proposal on Thursday in order to be selected because remaining a 1099 status dude is what we want. It is what we want, right? It has to be. That would be just like when you were getting that trucking money as a independent contractor, but you don't have to live in the back of a truck...And you'll be home every night. Is there anything we need to do to refine it before Thursday?
• That' a BIG-ASS house man. It's just you two anyway, do y'all need such a big ass house? Wait, your last spot was big and y'all were still bumping into each other... Well, not all the time. Y'all did hide from each other in that last one a few times. Hell, we used to wake up and disappear into that man cave for hours on end, but this time this spot has a basement and a yard. Damn, that's a big-ass house Bruh! Don't you like the fact that it's way the hell out there too? Cause the last time you invited certain folk over to the compound, y'all fed their ass and basked in libation only to suffer back wounds from all the stabbing weeks later because they really appreciated yall's hospitality. Probably was still full from that visit too... That toxic shit cannot even make an impression on the doorstep of that big-ass house. Enjoy your space man. Fuck sharing! Except with your wife...
• I still cannot believe it happened like that. I still can't believe that you're gone. I accept the fact that it did happen but... I had no earthly clue that we vibed like that... Like that! We talked every damn day, IMed and texted each other with silly ideas and cool suggestions of scenarios and prose and about life itself. We never hid anything when we talked openly about our relationships and significant others. We used to even pile onto each others problems and dreams with the most cynical, sarcastic and loving commentary because we both really did care about what was happening in our lives and wanted nothing more but peace for each other. That and artistic success. Even when we got emails, phone calls and comments about each other from folks outside looking in wondering how in the hell we were kindred, wondering just what kind of relationship we had, we would just look at each other, shrug our shoulders and keep it moving... It's hard for me to keep moving without you, but I am your brother from another mother and not your brother nor your mother... And I never was your lover or the friends numbered 3 other. And I've seen the pain in all of them.
• You gotta let go of that man. I mean, really... how long are you going to hold on to it? You cannot go into your 40s holding on to what damn near killed you in your 20s. You suffered all thru your 30s over this shit. just let it go. Please! You no longer need it, it no longer needs you so just stop it!!! What are you doing... Put that hot dog down!!! Wait, you ain't eating that hot dog, are you? Dammit, MISDIRECTION!!! GYROS ALERT! GYROS ALERT!
• You know they want $4k in a few weeks right? You got half of it. Wait, you have three quarters of it. Can you get the other grand and still pay the current house note and car note and fuel and lunch and the mobile internet thingee and still have date night and cook dinner everydamnday? I know you can. Just call Peter. If he doesn't answer then I know that Paul is available...
• Do you really want to go back into the education field as a last resort?
• Remember that one time when you were abducted by aliens and they had to let you go because they tried to pass off the anal probing thing they did to your cousin as colonic irrigation? Well, they are at it again tonight on TV, trying to pass it off as a TV show. Evil lizard bastids!
• Go see your brother. Not him, the older one.
• Save your money, Tucker. This place doesn't have porn. They think its immoral. You know, that really grinds my gears! Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor's living room while his neighbor's at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the Bible was way too long to read! 
• Akufukuzae hakwambii toka  
• You know, that meatless night we had was damn good. Now if I can just convince the missus to do that every night with me the magic can happen. I mean, seriously, does she love meat more than me? This shit ain't native to our kind anyway. Is it driven into their minds that much in the south that it becomes a way of life to the point that it leads to the early deaths of so many? Man, we gotta talk...
• Don't act surprised when the Democrats get the snot beat out of em' today in these local elections. If congress and the Prez had just used the majority like the Repubs would have if they were in power and already passed healthcare... Land.Slide.Stuff.  Whatever, man.
• [Dressed up as Spiderman climbing on a clothesline singing to the tune of the Batman theme] Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Spiderman! Spiderman! Here comes Hassan on a clothesline but his name's not Hassan it is Spiderman! Spiderman! Come on Diva let's get busy maybe right here in the garden Spiderman! Spiderman!

And when I got thru with this half my mental filings, it was damn near ten o'clock...



Every day in November, see. Every day.

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Ice Cold Words To Kick Off NaBloPoMo & NaNoWriMo

This month, I'm participating in National Blog Posting Month and National Novel Writing month in which I'll do exactly what both of those narrative/titles say. The plans are to have a fresh, new blog post every day for the month of November as well as me going to my private place to attempt to write a novel in this month's span. Thanks to my BlogSis The Original Oldgirl LadyLee and her participation and the support of others in both actions/causes, I have been motivated to support and have heeded a call to action as well. I mean, I just found out about these this morning, so please forgive me for not posting yesterday. I will more than make up for this within the month.

Wish us luck and continue to stop by. I have no earthly clue as to what will appear on these here pages in the near future.

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I have always been moved by most of Andre Benjamin's words.I posted half of this as a facebook status this morning. I always get something out of this cat's words. Check this verse:

Styles will change
They say change is dang-erous
As a king standing on the terrace
While his ___ pointing up at the rightful men
Cowards never know when your life will end
Then... live like there ain't no 'morrow
And if one come then this the motto
Now I put message in bottle
You go to the nearest beach and open your car door
And you walk to the place where the sea meets the land
Yeah it's easier to run the street than walk in the sand
Hey I'm talking young man
As if chalk in my hand
I will take yo' little ass to school
It's cool
When the kids call me sonny, the hood calls me stacks
The bees call me honey, Hollywood calls me back

Crack and I have a lot in common
We both come up in the 80's and we keep that bass pumping
That's a nega-tive comparison, embarrassing
Unfortunate that if you come up fortunate the streets consider you lame
Ha, I thought the name of the game was to have a better life. I guess it ain't. What a shame
I don't slang. Never slung but I'm one with the slum that has a name well fitting
Plenty cheese getting. No wonder why they call it the trap
So watch your tail and I'm not kidding
The rats and mice will give advice, they say, "you can paint and draw
Get out of here. Go show them that we're more than slanging raw."
That's when I broke into my Big Rube impression
And I tried to enlighten but that night I learned a lesson
That the morals that you think you got go out the window
When all the other kids are fresh and they got new Nintendo Wiis
And your child is down on her knees praying hard up to God for a whopper with cheese
Do you B) hit the street hard with a flair
Or do you A) go to school for heating and air?
Dare make an honest living or make a crooked killing
Or do a bit of both until you're holding on a million?
Brilliant. You got one foot in, one foot out
You put your left foot back in and then you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey til you turn your life around
That's what it's all about. 3000 out

From the song 'Royal Flush' featuring Raekwon
Outkast

Yall' be easy.