Is Now A Good Time? If Not, When?

I like the information and the visuals that Sprint gives us in advertising and explaining it's "now network"

• Right now there are 14,500 people texting their significant others
• Right now nearly half of them are breaking up with each other
• And little do you know it, a third of them are sending text porn

If you're made to understand correctly then you know that most folk crave a fast mobile network that can get them the latest info not fast, but right now. Verizon also has a new series of commercials where potential customers are saddened and frustrated because the ability to access facebook and twitter on their current network is impossible due to not having the proper smart phone, network and support, so they get them up to speed by providing them with the new technological gear.

Sound cool, right?

The ability to access social networks and variations of blogs and news sites seems to put us in the know as far as being in the right places and knowing exactly what to do, how to act an what to buy but, what happens when there is all of the right information provided to you, all of the technology to have at our fingertips to utilize and we still fail to be responsible in our actions?

What am I talking about?

Scenario one:

A random celeb is spotted at a club or restaurant having a romantic evening with someone other than their spouse. Using the 'now network' a bevy of camera enabled cellphones send candid pics to friends, relatives and gossip/blog/social networking sites. The press picks up on this type of activity due to phone calls made and or email and texting. Paparazzi shows up either hidden to get the good money shot for magazine/online publishing or just confronts said celeb and shoots a scoop story to be ran to the highest bidding publisher. As a result, word has been spread, evidence provided and buzz (revenue) is generated by calls/text/email/bandwidth used/photos taken using all of the modern marvels of technology we have in our pockets, purses and desk/laptops today.

But the real question is this: Could something have been done to prevent certain celebs from getting caught up in adverse situations by someone in the network? So many have spotted folks in situations that compromised their celebrity, relationships, business and overall public perception. Is it our business to act upon so-called adverse actions performed by celebs and non-celebs alike in attempts to do the right thing when technology is involved?

Did Steve McNair have to die?

With all of the technology involved surrounding his actions in recent months, can we say with all certainty that what happened was a surprise? A lot of folks close to the situation are saying that they were out of the loop and of course some could be covering their own asses but...

Gossip sites, news agencies, private citizens and law enforcement knew aspects of McNair's actions meaning folks are willing to get in one's business and put it over the network but aren't willing to intervene when things go awry. Seeing how quickly the so-called back story got out over the network after his death, it seemed that a lot of people knew something. To bad they were not a part of the same network, they could have called or texted each other and...

Whatever, I guess.

What about Michael Jackson?

Now that so much valuable information has come out via the internet/media/social networks, couldn't that love that's being poured out in enormous amounts been the fodder for someone to jump in front of the King and pull an intervention? I love the king. Always have and was never ashamed to admit that he was the best of the best. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that his public memorial is tomorrow, but... It really seems that a lot of love for the King didn't manifest until the rumors had been confirmed of his demise. With the exception of his passionate fans, I just wish that the remaining global groundswell could have happened before what ever it was that caused his cardiac arrest well, caused it. It seems that from camera phone photos to email accounts and texts (as well as publicly available receipts) and phone calls from his inner circle, the world knew that Michael had a problem. We probably let that problem manifest into what it is now, a memorial service.

What about the ignorant?

I watch a Ustream channel with my favorite Hip Hop DJ and its a 24 hour thing. I observed a guest DJ last night perform in what was to be a 2 hour show preempt himself from spinning tunes to bad mouth Al Sharpton and his efforts to console and counsel the Jackson family. He also made it very clear that he was upset to the point of violence that Rev. Sharpton and Jay-Z made the decision in Chris Brown not performing at the BET Awards. I stopped watching after he got 30 words into his rant. A lot of people made claims to the point where the internet, social networks and mobile networks were abuzz with both info, misinformation and innuendo about this matter. Did anyone do any research? Where is the responsibility in what we put over the network?

Wait... Dude had the technology to broadcast a live show over the same medium he has access to but never researched anything in the seven days that passed since that award show?

C'mon...

It seems some folk only use the "now network" to get worked up now and again with gossip, bad intel and such, but when it comes to viable, proven information gained in real time that probably needs some adressing... Well we seem to drop the ball and fail to act. I know that there is a balancing act with folk trying to stay out of folks business, but as it is in my case as a blogger who puts some harsh (to you) stuff out there, sometimes the stuff that gets putout there warrants concern.

I know that and accept that. I just wish that more of us see other situations with the same concern.

Based on what we know now, would it have seemed right to have intervened in the above mentioned situations? What about the countless other situations that have not made the news wires?

What good is living in the "now network" when we only react out of sadness and despair... Later?

Why have all of this futuristic fodder made purposely on bringing the world closer and keeping us in touch if it's not used responsibly? Who's responsibility is it for proper research? Who fact checks this stuff? What good is information now and how does it affect us when more info will be available with better technology coming down the pipe?

Early Sunday Words

So I get texts first from my fam in Nashville...

And then the internet blows the hell up...

And then, the tele-news agencies.

Steve McNair?

Damn.


I was just going to do a post about a very cool video game jawn that highlights the black college football experience, starring Doug Williams and having input from cats like Steve (who attended Alcorn State). If y'all really know me, then you know that my wife is an alum of an HBCU and about my love of the shawties attending HBCUs. Stuff like the only time I'll contribute to my frat and sorors is when there is something in conjunction with traditionally black colleges and universities... That I was set to contribute to something that brother McNair was going to be a part of later this summer...

Damn again.

I m not afraid of death. Dude is working overtime, that I know. I am not afraid of his ass either, and I welcome him at that because this shit right now on this plane... Is booty, so I understand why all of our artisans and do gooders are being taken, leaving us here to deal with the reality that the chosen few has created, costing the 'others' to pay such a hefty price just to live in mental and spiritual poverty.

Some of y'all need to meditate that last statement I just made. I'm like a Klingon up in this piece, I really, truly feel at this point that today is a good day to die. Sunday is cool, even though I'm looking forward to that cruise later on this week.

Some of y'all can't make that statement, and as I'll never pass judgement on another human being... I just know that my thang is solvent in the spirit. I'll never ask if yours is because I don't care. That ish in on you.

As far as my marriage is concerned (lean in and read this with scrutiny), things are what they are. We communicate sometimes, other times we don't. That's pretty human to me and I care not what is thought from her perspective if she ain't game to share with me. That just is what it is. I had a couple of friends come at me with concerns in the past couple of days asking if I was happy or if I even wanted in on this marriage thing. let me say this:

Marriage is a choice. You make the decision on what you want to live with, deal with and what you're willing to take. If your ish is tight and solvent, congratulations and good luck and many blessings to you and yours in the future. My shit ain't so... Deal with that how you must. I appreciate the concern but if you ain't in my house dealing with what I and she has to deal with then hey. I don't need help. We both know that this thing is a choice. This is what it is and we'll deal with each other accordingly, and even though there is hope from a lot for the success in our partnership, know that it may end tomorrow.

We both may choose to go in another direction. It matters not which way this thing goes because we will adjust and live accordingly.

I am emotionally attached to this woman but that can change based on choice. That's real. I will no longer spend my time looking at next week when I have to deal with what's going on today, and right now, my wife and I have different agendas that can end our union sooner than later, and I am happy with whatever happens from this point. Michael Jackson lived no more than 10 years or so from where I am now, and I'm not as healthy as he was before his passing... Steve McNair was younger than me and he lived an entire NFL career and had a marriage and family well more defined than where I am now which teaches me...

Live this thing for RIGHT NOW.

And if I feel that right now I'd rather be single and free and she does as well... Then don't judge me or my wife.

You only have so much time on this plane to accomplish ish and get things done. I know that. The two of us are doing all we can to do in what we want to do by just doing that, and it's fun doing that regardless of how we feel about either continuing our marriage or ending it. She is my best friend and from what I know about that... Sometimes friends are just that... Friends. Romance isn't always involved, but we try in our friendship to take things further than just friendship because there is intimacy there.

The work comes in wanting to achieve the same goals, and that ish might take time or we might bail if we never get on the same page. I don't need to have what other folks have for me to enjoy life. I live with the notion that life is too short to waste time, so I optimize and strategize with everything I do. I never had too much time to begin with, so... Whatever. Get out the friggin way! I got stuff to do.

I'm more callous than romantic
I'm more military than civilian
I'm more in tuned with death than with life in being endgame... Death has been so certain with me and mine, so I have a more defined value of time in life than others cause you cant beat death
I'm more experience driven than based in the physical or material
I'm not religious... At all. There are so many things I do NOT believe
I am more about trial and error... One learns in every experience

So this week, we drive to the Grand Canyon, and then off to Vegas for damn near a month, if we can agree on it... If not, then whatever man. I'm game for anything these days. The passing of young, vibrant people that actually contributed to a legacy of good should tap that as with the fact that your ass ain't promised tomorrow, so do something about it.

If I hear that your ass died on the friggin couch watching TV, then whatever. You can catch me climbing rocks later this week.

You Just Gotta Watch Something Crumble That'll Make You Feel Better About Your Crumbling Mess, Now Don't Cha?

I don't know how I made it through the weekend.

I really don't .


I accept death as a part of life, and I do not mourn the dead. I look forward to celebrating life like they do in the Bayou, so... As much as MJ's funeral will add closure to a moment I thought I would NEVER see, I am looking to take the time to celebrate his life, contributions to the world and that music of his. I will never get tired of listening and sanging with him...

I also have an initiative I want the world to complete with me on his birthday:

On his birthday two monts from now, I would love the world to find a sequined glove, some glittery-assed socks, a MJ themed T-Shirt and if you can, either a Thriller, Beat It or Billie Jean jacket and rock it to the workplace, school or just around the way for the entire day. I have spoken to the shyest, most introverted folk, some thug cats and a few conservative mutha effers and they all agree... Nothing can stop this bum rush. Michael Jackson changed the world and it would be fitting for us to pay tribute and make it a yearly habit. You have 2 months and you have been warned...

Enough about the King...

I am not looking forward to the next leg of my trip. You see, I cannot get past what happened between the wife and myself this past weekend. See, wifey thinks that we have our WHOLE LIVES on the internet. I don't think that this is the case. She thinks that there is something certainly wrong with the world all up in our business when I can tell her factually that the world ain't giving one big shit about us.

Where it is cathartic to let things go in the method I do, none of y'all with the exception of a small, chosen few actually know what the hell is going on in our household minus the various photos and blogposts that I do, and what you see, hear, view and read about isn't even one eighth of what our lives are or are about. If I could reveal more than I would, but I think what I'm giving is just about enough. based on conversations with some in my inner circle and those that just found about my blog and just started lurking via facebook, they wish to know more and know how my other half and I are doing so well in the face of adversity.

That could be the joke of the week to me, because seriously, I believe I am at the point where I could either be at my most destructive in reacting to the bullshit that is happening in my so-called marriage or I could just walk the fuck away.

And it was funny hearing the comments from some folk that were at my 20th year high school reunion jawn... Seeing that most of the folk that had an opinion had only read up a couple of months on my ass on facebook where there isn't much info than there is here on me/us.

Whatever. But...

See, I cannot live a lie, a life based on lies or lies about my life according to a series of lies based on keeping other lies suppressed. This is what I'm dealing with right now. I have to make a decision on how I want to live the rest of my life and I cannot lie about how, who and where I want to do that based on what other people think of my stank ass. Their opinion has never mattered when I write a check to pay the car note, so why should it matter now?

I can give lees than a fuck about what family and friends say or think about what I'm doing to save my shit. Furthermore, I know for a fact that certain folk ain't really rocking their shit as well as perceived as well, so I urge those that have an opinion to stay up out of my shit and enjoy the website, videos and posts relating to how I deal with mine.

My shit ain't as cool as the other side of the pillow as some may think, and the reason I decided to pull the plug on rent, car notes and utilities was to make it easy to walk the hell away if our self counseling did not work. I can walk away from this relationship if I am not successful in exhausting all of our possibilities and am willing to document that shit and share certain points with the world, are you?

I don't think so because some of y'all just cannot walk away. Drama, credit and financial issues and downright fear of what another mutha effer might say, momma, best friend or otherwise is holding you to choice that ain't making your ass happy. Do not project your drama on me. If this relationship ends, it will be based on logic and common sense. All marriages aren't supposed to last and at least I'm doing the dirty work in finding out if mine is one of those I just spoke on.

My shit ain't perfect, and I feel that after our little exercise I will know for sure if this is exactly where I want to be. My wife definitely has different desires than mine, and there seems to be an issue with compromise in making certain things happen. One thing is for sure, there will be no family expansion to try to save my marriage. That is an asinine thing to do when one's love and support are questioned in the fist place. Why bring an innocent child into play? I am not going to purposely create a life just to fuck that life up mentally and emotionally. I will not see a son go wrong in this society or a daughter swing around a pole because of mommy-daddy issues.

So for those asking about children... Sit down, eat your slice of pizza and be quiet. I have to have a solvent relationship before I even consider children.

As far as the road trip is concerned, we supposed to be headed to the Grand Canyon and then Vegas next week, but we have to see if that is actually going to happen. Business interests and the willingness to be in the same place at the same time exists between her and I. If we do head out, then it will be one hell of a road trip that I hope to get some video of that's for sure.

It seems that both of our true sense of duty, purpose and responsibility is coming into play now that the rooms to run to and the doors to slam have been eliminated. But that's why I suggested this thing in the first place.

Oh, and don't worry... All things happen for good reasons. I can say for sure that I ain't neither mad nor disappointed about how things are panning out.

But I am a little tiffed on how we let the Supreme Court get their anal rape of the American people on before they ended session yesterday... You don't know, look it up... Precedent has been set and you should know about it before engaging in conversation with my reading/learned ass.

I took the time to check it out between reading and watching news coverage of the death of the King... What in the hell did you do this weekend?

The King Is Dead. Long Live The King

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Nothing Doing... Leave A Message

Nothing doing on the blogging front.

We did update the Herz and Hiz site.

I did upload a new You Tube video.

We do plan on getting out today.

It's supposedly our next to last day in Atlanta.

We plan on doing 'stuff' and snapping more pix.

Oh, and it's our 18 month anniversary.

See you around, okay?

It's A Manic Monday, Mane!

Good Monday Morning...

The barometer on the freedom level is fair to midland today.

I spent much of my weekend watching the goings on in Iran and all I really have in criticisms is a shoulder hunch. I mean, I am concerned with the handling of human life and I am sorry so many have to go thru so much, but... It is a part of the process of progress.

After witnessing so many over here, in this country, in this nation, in my home town, in my neighborhood, on my block, doors next to or down die from absolutely nothing by the hand of their own or an agent of either the municipality, county, state or government, I understand exactly what is happening. The imprisonment of the innocent and politically polarizing to further the agenda of the status quo is commonality personified where I live. We continue to act like we have learned and moved on from our mistakes, transgressions and purposeful actions based on racism, sexism, financial gain and nationalism when that is exactly what we want. The opposite. We continue to yearn for the biased activities that gave us what our parents told us was comfort in our childhood when we know now as adults that everything we felt comfortable about as children was based on a lie.

So watching what video, pictures and commentary makes it out of Iran continues to add to the realization that nothing is what we want. We are truly the 85 that Clarence 13X theorized us to be.

The same folk that revolted in the past and got good off the takeover are the ones making haste to make change impossible for those that yearn for the revolt in the now.

But anyway...

I did spend Sunday afternoon/evening holding court with The Original Oldgirl LadyLee. We had fun yapping and munching on superior cooked goodies over at the Whole Foods joint over in Mid-Town ATL. It was cool hanging out and just discussing everything and talking bout' nothing for a handful of hours yesterday. We have definitely gots to do that again.

Did I mention that she makes one hell of an oatmeal/walnut/raisin cookie. They were leftovers from an engagement she had from he day before, but it didn't matter. I volunteer my stomach for the leftover shelf any day of the week, cause I loves me some oatmeal anything cookies.

Good looking out Oldgirl... We gots to do that again.

Today is a moving day. Still in the greater Atlanta area for the moment. Things will happen in the near future that will determine exactly the when and where my other half and I will be.

All I got right now. Be easy in them cubicles, shawty.

At What Cost?

Change...

But at what cost?

At the beginning of the year, I had no clue that I... We would be where we are geographically, but we are here. I planned on doing some work to enhance the office space in our home and was really looking forward to popping over to US Cellular Field (home of the 2006 Word Champion Chicago White Sox - Cub fans can kick rocks!) more than a few times to see ballgames, enjoying the newness of my recently gentrified neighborhood.

I also thought that whatever it was that was holding my marriage together would become more solvent over time.

I was wrong.

After purging the records and saw that our spending was out of control and realizing that this was closely related to our relationship not being under control, I decided to take action. I had a plan. It seems that now my plan might be sabotaged by change.

Change on address.
Change of mind.
Change of opinion.
Change in direction.
Change in focus.

And no change of the status quo.

I was reading LadyLee's blog post yesterday dealing with settling and not making the adjustment based on what you want. It is a given that you'll never get what you want in life some of the time, others you might get too much of what you want, and that might be a bad thing. I struggled to comment after reading that post, the Oldgirl went on and reminded those that read regularly and really put the dooski wooski on anyone just stopping by for the first time about how she just went with the flow with dude for 5 years not getting much of what she wanted in a man but out of familiarity she stayed the course, eventually marrying this cat.

Damn.

Was the market that damn bad or was staying put that damn stable (in bullshit, mind you) that she felt the need to stay in it for that damn long? That made me ask myself if my marriage is anywhere near that status. Now mind you, when she realized that her future would be worse than what her present was handing to her, she gathered the courage, strength and wherewithal to get up and walk away. Far, far away.

So after waiting all day to pick my other half up from the airport I suggested that she read this post because I really wanted to ask her if she felt as if she settled.

I asked.

She answered.

Regardless of how she answered and what she said, I wish I never asked because now I know the truth. It doesn't even matter what she said in her reply to my initial question, all I know is that change needs to come sooner than later, but at what cost? I mean, I did what I did a few weeks ago to save my marriage and look at opportunities that would benefit both of us.

But sometimes unleashing extreme measures to solve one problem can open one's self up to a myriad of other problems.

It just doesn't seem to stop.

I guess I'm the only one around here that realizes that we only have one shot at this thing called life on this plane of existence. I'm only running into a few others that actually realize that there is no redo, especially if one takes a holding pattern to make the important decisions in life.

That's why things are the way they are.

There are those that know that they only have that one shot and do whatever it takes to make life worth it, there are others that continue to question their own situation, doing nothing to solve their problems and those that seem lost in life and end up drowning in it, making life a wasted resource awarded by The Creator to the absolute wrong person.

Sometimes it takes lessons learned, the exploration of learned behavior and then acting to correct the crooked shit in order to make things the way it's supposed to be. I'm gradually finding out which one of those persons I am by self realization and who I purported to be by others with little or no additional thought given to what makes me who I am.

Living among anger and confusion will only make you angry and confused, distracting you from what you were really put here to do, leaving your imprint with no impact.

I'm starting to relate with that last statement.